


White Whale

by BlueGrammar



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Canon, Better Than Canon, F/M, Romance, ShikaSaku Week 2020, Smart Haruno Sakura, Strangers to Lovers, and she's not as useless as canon, obsession with the sea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26747005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueGrammar/pseuds/BlueGrammar
Summary: In which Shikamaru tells Sakura what he really thinks about her and her Sasuke-fangirling behaviour. But what if Sakura was actually more than a love interest?
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Nara Shikamaru
Comments: 11
Kudos: 182
Collections: ShikaSaku Week 2020





	White Whale

**Author's Note:**

> Here's day 2 of the ShikaSaku week! I really, really love that one shot. The prompts/lyrics are from the song "Moby Dick" by Jakey. Hope you enjoy!

"I want your skin  
I want your mouth  
I want your eyes"

.  
.  
.

As a 13 year old, Sakura had one obsession in life: being noticed by Sasuke, whom she claimed to hopelessly be in love with.

  
13 year old Shikamaru, on the other hand, wasn't obsessed with anything, because being obsessed by something meant being actively doing stuff... Which he hated. He was too lazy to be obsessed.

  
He had spent a lot of time lately, reading Moby-Dick, and that just put him off from this kind of behaviour. Captain Ahab was a fool. Revenge wasn't worth the loss of time and energy. Not in Shikamaru's eyes. That's why he couldn't proceed to even begin to understand Sasuke Uchiha. In his mind, the guy was a psycho, end of the story. But what was even stranger was Sakura's fascination and so-called love for Sasuke.

  
It turned him off each time he would see her because it was like her whole personality revolved around that. And Shikamaru wasn't happy when he learnt that his sensei was a good friend of Kakashi, and that team 7 and 10 were now to meet weekly to hang out together.

  
Out of all of them, he only managed to tolerate Naruto. And he has respect for Kakashi. That was it. He loved Ino and Chôji, but he despised Sakura and Sasuke. Yet Asuma sensei would insist for him to be friendly with them.

  
''A good ninja has to put aside his resentment. One day, those guys will be your colleagues, Shikamaru,'' he told him.

  
They went out to eat ramen, and everything Sakura did or said was either related or aimed towards Sasuke. Ninety percent of the time, the Uchiha didn't even reply. Shikamaru tried his best to socialise, as his sensei had ordered. He said ''hi'', asked polite questions about the weather and that kind of crap. But Sakura was barely acknowledging him, and by the end of the meal, Shikamaru felt completely transparent and left out.

  
Ino, Chôji and Naruto were chatty and lively. Sasuke the human equivalent of a pile of stones, and Sakura was stuck to him like an octopus.

  
An octopus. He was thinking of the sea again.

  
''If you were a character of Moby-Dick, you'd be Captain Ahab,'' Shikamaru said quietly while looking at Sakura.

  
She wasn't looking at him, but to his surprise, she turned around with an astonished face.

  
''I beg your pardon?!''

  
''It's erm... A book,'' Shikamaru started, but Sakura cut her off.

  
''Did you just compare me to a literal personification of fanaticism and obsessive behaviours?'' she asked, speaking so quickly that anybody else couldn't have caught what she said.

  
''Pretty much,'' Shikamaru replied, trying not to be destabilised by the sudden change in Sakura's behaviour, and by the fact that she seemed to know what she was talking about.

  
She was so upset that she actually turned away completely from Sasuke, who glanced at her with very slight confusion in his eyes.

  
''Pretty much?'' she asked sharply.

  
''Pretty much,'' he said again, starting to be annoyed.

  
''Have we read the same book?'' Sakura questioned angrily.

  
''’Cause you read books?''

  
And here he was, saying something stupid again. For the sake of it. Asuma told him that he couldn't be that salty all the time, and that negativity only attracted negativity. But Shikamaru couldn't help being slightly narcissistic and annoyed by everybody... Especially girls. Because... Girls were just annoying, you know?

  
For a minute, it really looked like Sakura was gonna hit him. She actually raised her arm but Kakashi held it back without even turning towards her.

  
''Sakura, behave,'' he simply said before letting go.

  
Her cheeks got redder, as she put her hand down, visibly really angry.

  
Shikamaru simply looked at her with a jaded look.

  
''You know, maybe people would actually like you if you weren't constantly behaving like Narcissus,'' she snapped.

  
''What has that got to do with anything? I'm not acting like narcissus.'' Shikamaru mumbled.

  
''That's the thing about Narcissus,'' Sakura replied seriously, pointing a finger up, talking really quickly again, ''just like Captain Ahab, Narcissus isn't aware of the destructiveness that this obsession is leading him to, ''because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned''. Ahab doesn't realise either that it's his own image he's hunting for, in the form of a whale who ate a part of his own body. Just like you are not aware of anything.''

  
He looked at her, blinking. She was damn aggressive. Like any girl that Shikamaru knew. She wouldn't take her eyes out of him now, but he had nothing to say. After a while she shook her head.

  
''You're not the only smart guy around here, Shikamaru.''

  
From that moment on, he started to pout. Like a kid. Which he still was. Also, he better kept his mouth shut, since he was always saying things that were making everything worse.

  
Yeah, for someone smart, Shikamaru always did or does pretty stupid things.

  
But as the teams were about to part, Sakura called Shikamaru. He turned jaded eyes towards her and noticed that she looked a lot calmer. In fact, she almost seemed as jaded as he was.

  
''What do you consider being the white whale of my life?'' she asked.

  
Shikamaru didn't answer, but pointed his chin towards Sasuke, who was walking in front of them, next to Naruto.

  
''You just don't know me,'' she said calmly, ''I'm more than a love interest.''

  
''Yeah?'' Shikamaru said, raising his eyebrows, ''prove it, then.''

  
Maintaining the eye contact, Sakura reached to the little bag she was carrying with her and took out a little book whose title was ''Moby-Dick''.

  
''I already did,'' she said sharply.

  
.  
.  
.

After that day, Shikamaru kept in mind that Sakura didn't like him. And also, that she was really into literature, and possibly caught up on things faster than he did when it came to old stories about men obsessed with giant albino fish.

  
But he didn't think about her more than that, until he was called into the Hokage's office and ordered to retrieve Sasuke.

  
As he formed his team and explained his strategy, he thought that Sakura didn't really deserve to be so into a guy who would just ditch her to get a revenge and go and chase white whales, rather than stay with her.

  
After all, who would go and chase whales when they could stay with a pretty pink headed girl who would give the world for them? Not that he thought Sakura was pretty though... Or did he?

  
Anyway, when she came towards them, he kind of expected her to cry and wish them good luck. He certainly didn't expect...

  
''What's my position?''

  
''I'm sorry?'' Shikamaru said, astonished.

  
''I'm coming with you,'' she insisted, ''what's my position in your plan?''

  
Shikamaru scratched his head and glanced at Naruto quickly, but the blond ninja looked serious and didn't seem to want to discourage her.

  
''Sakura, you can't, I've already got my team, there's no space for you.''

  
''Why not?'' she asked, bluntly.

  
''Because you can't handle it,'' he said seriously, ''I'm the chief of this team and I have to know everyone's capacities and performances, and you don't fit for this.''

  
''You don't know that,'' Sakura protested.

  
''I do. I studied your abilities. I know you better than you know yourself.''

  
She blinked for a few seconds and then looked at him the same she did on that one day, at the ramen place. For a second there, he even thought she was going to punch him, but she remained calm.

  
''Well, I, myself, said you can go straight to hell,'' she finally let out. ''I either go with your team, or I go on my own.''

  
''Right, you can go alone,'' he said.

  
Another real fucking stupid thing he said. Well done Shikamaru, he thought to himself. Why did he have to be like that?

  
''That's fair,'' Sakura replied, looking sincerely fine.

  
''I don't want any troubles,'' he told her.

  
''I'll explain myself with the Hokage,'' she shrugged. ''Naruto?'' she then called. The blond ninja looked at her with a determined look in his eyes.

''We'll see which one of us gets to convince him first, okay?''

  
They both smiled at each other, and the rest of the ninjas got ready to leave. As Sakura had tightened a bandage around her arm, Shikamaru approached her until only she could hear him.

  
''Are you sure this is what you should be doing?'' he asked her.

  
''Shikamaru,'' - she looked at him in the eyes – ''you were right. I am Ahab. I'm gonna go and catch that fucking white whale.''

  
The words ''you were right'' sent goose bumps down his spine, even though he didn't like to admit it. He didn't even know that she remembered that talk they had months ago.

  
''You're aware that the whale that Ahab is chasing ends up drowning him in the ocean, right?''

  
She laughed. He watched her as she ran away, being the first one to leave.

  
He tightened his ponytail, thinking that she probably knew what the best for her was to do.

  
She took the right decision.

  
And he kept thinking so, even when he saw her being beaten up by their opponents.

  
He kept thinking so, even when they came back without Sasuke and that mission was a failure.

  
He kept thinking so, even when she looked horribly depressed as she was healing from that disaster.

  
.  
.  
.

They spent a lot of time together at the hospital, because they were sharing a room. Sasuke was never mentioned again. But deep down, Shikamaru knew that damn white whale was still alive and swimming free. Maybe even eating other people's leg. Who knew?

  
It became a taboo for him too. His father saw him crying after the failed mission and told him to man up. Temari told him to man up. But when he came back to his hospital room, buried his head in his pillow and cried a whole Mississippi river like a man, Sakura brought him tissues.

She didn't look like she pitied him, or like she found him pathetic. She just looked like... A person. Because after all, that's what girls are. Human beings. Just like men.

  
''Let's be positive, it literally can't get worse,'' she said bitterly before returning to her bed.

  
When he was done crying his soul out, he sat on his bed, feeling like a total drama queen. He looked at Sakura, who was quietly reading a book. He sniffed then grabbed a tissue to blow his nose.

  
''What ya readin'?'' he asked with a pitiful voice.

  
She raised sad eyes towards him and moved the book so that he could see the title.

  
''Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea,'' she said quietly, ''I felt like the title was appropriately reflecting the way I feel right now.''

  
They both smiled at each other. The kind of smile you have when you just know everything's going terrible and that you're going to have to deal with it, because there's no way out.

  
Shikamaru felt sorry for Sakura. He was crying because he disappointed everyone around him and had a lot of pressure on his shoulders. But Sakura, must have felt so betrayed and useless as well – she literally couldn't do anything to keep the one she loved with her.

  
''Are you gonna be alright?'' he asked with a little voice.

  
''I don't know... I try and tell myself, you know'' – she shook the book – ''there's plenty of fish in the sea.''

  
Shikamaru went to the library that afternoon and picked the same book as Sakura. Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea happened to be just the book he needed. Unlike Moby-Dick, it dived right into it. Right into the problems. It made Shikamaru feel good, in a way. When he finished the book, Sakura had already moved onto The Old Man and the Sea, and then, she headed for The Sea-Wolf. He tagged along.

  
At this point, Shikamaru didn't even question why Sakura seemed really obsessed with every piece of literature that had to do with the sea. It was just her personality. He only had a small glimpse of it, as they didn't talk to each other much, aside from occasionally commenting on the books. From time to time, Sakura would actually take the initiative to go to Shikamaru to give him a copy of the book she was currently reading.

  
She confessed to him once that she was going to therapy, and her anger issues diminished drastically. By the time Naruto left to train with Jiraya, she had become a fairly calm girl who he liked to be around, even if he was just watching clouds while she would read another book about the sea.  
She seemed to care about him. Or actually... He wanted her to care about him.

  
He was 13, and he was in love.

  
.  
.  
.

As years passed, Sakura ended up running out of books that spiked her interest. She also needed more time to study medicine and stopped hanging out with Shikamaru as much as she used to.

  
But she didn't decline his attempts to spend more time with her.

  
''Say Sakura,'' Shikamaru once asked while they were reading together, ''would you like to go out to eat together some days?''

  
She didn't raise her eyes from the dull pages and mumbled back: ''My team is very incomplete, it'd be weird.''

  
''Oh,'' - Shikamaru cleared his throat, ''I didn't mean it like that. I meant, like, just you and me.''

  
''Yeah, sure.''

  
And so, they would go out, but it didn't feel like Sakura was emotionally invested at all in it. It was pure friendship. Shikamaru could feel it, so he never insisted.  
They were 17, and Naruto was finally bringing Sasuke back to the village, after chasing him through oceans and lands all over their damn planet.

  
''Shikamaru?'' she called softly, putting her chopsticks to the side of her ramen bowl.

  
''Yes?''

  
''Have you heard the news?''

  
He could tell what she was talking about, so he nodded, with a slight smile.

  
''Sounds like Naruto managed to do what almost killed us all 4 years ago.''

  
Sakura didn't smile, she stared at her food and quietly stated: ''I know why. It's because they're in love with each other.''

  
Shikamaru couldn't help but chuckle.

  
''Yeah, that was quite obvious, wasn't it.''

  
But Sakura didn't reply. She pushed some of her hair behind her ear and licked bit her lips.

  
''Sakura... Why does this make you sad?''

  
An ironic smile stretched her lips as she whispered: ''I guess I really am Ahab...''

  
''Still in love, uh?'' Shikamaru said, being as detached as he could be.

  
He too put his food aside and reached to his pocket to take a packet of cigarette and his sensei's lighter.

  
''Oh no, it's not love,'' Sakura grumbled, ''it's just a toxic obsession at this point.''

  
''And you can't let go?''

  
He let out some smoke out of his mouth before taking another breath.

  
''Hardly,'' she said. ''I'm telling you, it's so unhealthy.'

'  
Shikamaru nodded, looking right in front of him: ''Tell me about it, we all have unhealthy stuff we can't let go off.''

  
He blew some smoke again.

  
''Have you ever liked someone who barely even acknowledged you?'' Sakura asked casually, resting her face on her fist.

  
Shikamaru felt a lump in his throat.

  
Don't do something stupid again, his mind screamed, don't, don't, don't!

  
''Yeah, you.''

  
He did it.

  
Sakura turned towards him so abruptly that she almost kicked the bowl to the ground. Her green gaze looked so confused and slightly upset that Shikamaru really regretted his words.

  
''That's not true,'' she shouted, ''I acknowledge you all the time!''

  
''Wait... What?''

  
Shikamaru's brain went through a freeze. He expected her to react to the fact that he just admitted “liking” her... Not to that part.

  
''I spend time with you, and we talk and do activities together, I think I acknowledge you more than Sasuke ever acknowledge me!''

  
''So you... You knew that I like you?''

  
Sakura looked at him, puzzled.

  
''Really? It's not like Ino would ever be in the same room as me without mentioning it, you know.''

  
Shikamaru put his cigarette in the ashtray, feeling really embarrassed.

  
''I'm sorry,'' he whispered.

  
''Sorry? What are you apologizing for?''

  
''Erm, well... For... Uh...'' Shikamaru was at loss for words. ''I... I mean, you don't like me and...''

  
''Ah,'' Sakura looked at him with a gentle look, ''it's not that Shikamaru, I like you too.''

  
''You do?!''

  
''Yes of course, why else would I be around you so much and even go on dates with you and all.''

  
''But...'' Shikamaru was trying really hard to fit the pieces together in his mind but they wouldn't match. ''Then why aren't we together yet?''

  
''Oh, it's more complicated than that,'' Sakura sighed.

  
''Is it Sasuke?'' Shikamaru dared.

  
''No. Well... Not only.''

  
''Then what?''

  
''It's just that you don't really know me that well,” Sakura ended up spitting after shifting uncomfortably on her seat for a few seconds.

  
''What?” Shikamaru was puzzled. ''We've hung out together for years Sakura, I know you. You're calm, and caring, you have empathy and you're social, you-...''

  
"That's the thing,'' Sakura cut him off, ''you project, all these qualities onto me. You don't know me, this is what happens betwe-"

  
''No, Sakura,'' it was Shikamaru's turn to cut her off, ''it's not like that. I know I don't know everything about you, but I still know the essentials. And there are things I can't be projecting. I know your favourite colour is blue, and you love to read, especially novels about sea creatures, your biggest dream is to live on a boat and study marine biology. And I know your favourite meal is those weird jello canned fruits and that the noise of neon lights bugs you and that you can't stand spicy food. And I know you have anger issues and you take medication for it.''

  
This time, Sakura was speechless. He kept on listing all the things he had stored in his mind about her all these years and she just couldn't help but to look at him with glimmers in her eyes.

  
''And you know what?'' Shikamaru continued. ''All these things about you, they're fine by me. It's even like, cool. I love that you're passionate about all those things and I wanna do all the things you want to do, and...''

  
She blinked.

  
''I'm not the one that you wanted but damn it I think I could be what you need...''

  
Sakura's eyes blinked again, a few times. She opened her mouth to say something but was speechless. It took her a few seconds to finally react.  
She grabbed his hand and smiled. It felt electrical and ethereal when she her face got closer to his.

He closed his eyes, and they kissed.


End file.
